I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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