I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
