are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
