I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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