I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
