is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You've changed since you got that strap on
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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