We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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