absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
