K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
