well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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