someone owes me an orgasm
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
