mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
