At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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