my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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