I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
