Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
