Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize