I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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