I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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