That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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