we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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