Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
