Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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