Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
