So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
