So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize