He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
