guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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