he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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