What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize