Got a toothbrush?
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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