it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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