from now on my penis is your penis
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
