My sheets look like a crime scene.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
