she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
