I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
