he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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