so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Randomize
