Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dear god my vagina.
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