Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
