I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
