O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
