You really coming over, don't trick.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
