You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
