Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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