i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
