We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sorry about my life...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
