ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize