Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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