dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
