I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
