Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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