They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize