If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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