I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
