i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
