therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
