i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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