Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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