I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
