I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
