we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize