Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
