i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
