He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
