Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
