you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
