the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
