quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
