your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
