If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
