We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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