a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
