so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
