new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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