She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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