I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
